In a unique experiment …” They always says that, have you noticed? In this one – Are Our Kids Tough Enough? Chinese School (BBC2) – a comprehensive school in Hampshire is turning Chinese. Well, 50 year 9 pupils at Bohunt School in Liphook are getting Chinese teachers and Chinese teaching methods for a month.

Things starts promisingly enough. The Chinese-style tracksuits may not be what these kids would have chosen to wear, but they can at least have a good giggle about them. Morning exercises on the football pitch, to prepare for the day ahead, are a proper success, though – even if not everyone follows Miss Yang’s moves exactly, due to poor senses of rhythm or good senses of humour, or both. Is that an Usain-Bolt lightning celebration going on at the back?

In the classroom, it goes less well. Miss Yang’s science lessons and Mr Zou’s maths lessons are essentially lectures. They stand at the front writing the theory on the board, while the students (are supposed to) take notes and learn. This may be OK in China, where education is based on authority and respect is a given. But less so in a British comprehensive, where autonomy and questioning are encouraged.

Classes quickly descend into chaos, respect goes out of the window. “They’ve got this discipline that probably works in China because everyone does what the teachers say, but it doesn’t work here because no one really cares,” says Rosie. “Everyone just finds it hilarious.”

She’s right, it is hilarious. Comedy based on cultural difference and misunderstanding. The programme-makers are certainly enjoying it, and play the music from The Great Escape and The Dam Busters as head teacher Mr Strowger walks around checking on progress. What, has China actually invaded Hampshire and the plucky Brits are taking them on?
PE is a compulsory run in which the students are timed, tested and ranked against each other by Miss Wang. Bad news for Joe, who is still going long after everyone else has finished. Joe’s classmates congratulate him on finishing. That’s nice; would it have happened in China? And local PE teacher Miss Hogg is comforting and encouraging after his public humiliation. “If you’re not excelling in PE, I guarantee you will be excelling in another area,” she tells him. She’s right. Joe turns out to be amazing at cracking Mr Zou’s Chinese ring puzzle, and ends up showing his classmates how to do it. Different people, different strengths.
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The local staff – the ones featured here, anyway – all seem ace. Lovely students, too, even – especially – the naughty ones (I’m a sucker for a naughty kid, me) such as Sophie and Luca. There’s a self-awareness and an intelligence about their naughtiness. “I can quite easily lose focus,” says Luca. “And then getting distracted starts me distracting other people.”

In fact, Bohunt seems to be a brilliant school, enlightened (which is reflected in getting involved in this whole experiment in the first place), friendly, successful. Ofsted agrees. I don’t think they need help from anywhere.

Not that Miss Yang and Mr Zou are bad teachers. Their methods clearly work in China where school children are up to three years ahead in maths. But it’s not just about the classroom – it’s about the entire cultural context. A wise chef, given potatoes and a deep-fat fryer, will not try to make dim sum, as Confucius said, maybe …

It would be interesting to try it the other way round – attempt chips in a bamboo steamer. Meaning go over there with trendy British teachers who invite the Chinese students to arrange themselves into groups and decide, among themselves, to do whatever the hell they like. Confusing, I’d imagine.

It will also be interesting at the end of this three-part series when this lot and parallel year 9s who haven’t been involved in the experiment are tested and compared. Maybe there will be something to learn from China after all.
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